Overcast still, but no rain showers, though, dark as shit in the early afternoon.
Modern life sometimes appears asshole-contradictory — Cheetah this: A study found that the violence displayed by chimpanzees was not caused by human disturbances, but rather the behavior is innate to the species.
We don’t corrupt everything on this planet, just mostly everything.
(Illustration found here).
And don’t pitch a screeching fit you monkey bitch: According to new data from the NOAA, the planet Earth hasn’t had this hot of a summer since record-keeping began in 1880. In other words, 2014 was the hottest summer in modern history.
Yet people along the US Atlantic states were cooler than normal, so what’s the deal?
And the pure of pure gall:
North Koreans enjoy the best human rights regime of any country, according to a 53,000-word report issued this month by authorities in the Hermit Kingdom.
The roughly translated document, posted on Saturday on a government-controlled website — under a photograph of desperately happy children — attempts to rebut an extensive UN human rights inquiry earlier this year that found the country’s leadership responsible for “unspeakable atrocities” including murder, enslavement, rape and summary imprisonment committed against its citizens.
“The gravity, scale, and nature of these violations reveal a state that does not have any parallel in the contemporary world,” the UN report concluded.
According to North Korea, these were “serious misunderstandings.”
The country, it says, actually “has the world’s most advantageous human rights system.”
Pan backward to pandemonium, and, please dress in a monkey suit: South Korean border guards arrested an American man who they believe was attempting to swim across a river to rival North Korea, a South Korean defence official said.
A 29-year-old computer repairman from Texas — wanted to gaze upon the Great Leader.
No monkey shines, or skull-racks: Jonathan Dwyer of the Arizona Cardinals head-butted his wife and broke her nose during a domestic altercation that is the latest incidence of domestic violence to rock the NFL.
The NFL always been this way? Or is there something in the water? Supposedly this clown’s sexual advances were rejected — background reveals one disturbed guy.
Maybe tossing around a monkey wrench in these half-empty dog days: Dogs that did not respond to the ambiguous tone were considered more pessimistic. These bowl-half-empty’ers had Eeyore-ish personalities. Such cautious canines expect more bad things to happen than good, and they’ll tend to be on the cautious side, easily discouraged when things don’t go well.
Pessimistic dogs aren’t “unhappy,” according to the study; they’re just happiest with things the way they are, and they might need a bit of a nudge to try new things.
Who the fuck can tell what the fuck a fucking dog thinks?
Not good for us Californians: The illnesses marked California’s first 2014 cases of a virus known to have infected 153 people in 18 U.S. states, according to statistics posted by the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention earlier Thursday.
Not good for anyone — a lot of disease stories lately.
Monkey-dead and the not-fully-developed-brain disease: A Michigan man who admitted throwing a drug-filled football over a prison fence was “immature” was sentenced to prison.
He also said the incident was “thoughtless.”
And maybe monkey-ass finally, Americans are real bright: A new poll by the Annenberg Public Policy Center revealed that most of you failed civics class in elementary school: Only 36 percent of Americans could name all three branches of the federal government, while 35 percent “could not name a single one.”
Which dovetails with this:
It’s accepted wisdom that Americans don’t hold Washington in high regard. Now, new research from political scientists at John Hopkins University shows that the feeling is mutual.
…
Similarly, only 30 percent of Americans say that government and politics can be understood by people like them; 73 percent of policymakers say the same, as do 100 percent of Hill and White House staffers.
As the authors note, “these demographic differences between the rulers and the ruled are potentially quite important… factors such as these affect individuals’ life experience, capacity for mutual understanding and perceptions of political issues and events.” In other words, what happens when a “government of the people” becomes a “government of a certain class of people”?
…
One effect of this civic distance is mutual distrust and antipathy on either side of the beltway. “The most disturbing finding was that members of Washington policy community have a jaundiced view of ordinary Americans, and they didn’t know very much about ordinary Americans either,” Ginsberg said.
Monkey-breaks with no butts.