Monday Without A Clue

April 2, 2012

Hard to fathom it’s not only another Monday morning, but another brand-new month — Santa Claus is way back down the road — and the planet keeps creeping forward into the gloom.
Weekends are a bit slower than weekdays, but those languid 48 hours seem to flash past like a bullet.

Beyond the lottery madness last week, the most-dumb-ass event over the weekend was Mitt Romney getting punk’d as an April Fool: “I go in there, and it’s completely empty. There’s nobody there!” Romney giggled, as he later recounted the prank to his audience at the real event. “I thought, oh boy, this is going to look really bad on the evening news, let me tell ya.”
Mitt’s entire operation is 100 percent, pure clueless.

(Illustration found here).

And maybe even more clueless is NBC, which announced Sarah Palin will co-host the ‘Today‘ show tomorrow morning — did we miss something here: “She’ll reveal a different side of her than you’ve seen before,” the morning show’s website boasted Sunday.
How many sides can this bat-shit crazy woman have — a 100?

And the clueless iTunes people — a “creepy” App, which allows guys to stalk gals has been pulled after an outcry from guess who:
Via Cult of Mac:

“Okay, so here’s the way the app works,” I explained to my friends.
Girls Around Me is a standard geolocation based maps app, similar to any other app that attempts to alert you to things of interest in your immediate vicinity: whether it be parties, clubs, deals, or what have you.
When you load it up, the first thing Girls Around Me does is figure out where you are and load up a Google Map centered around your location.
The rest of the interface is very simple: in the top left corner, there’s a button that looks like a radar display, at the right corner, there’s a fuel meter (used to fund the app’s freemium model), and on the bottom left is a button that allows you to specify between whether you’re interested in women, men or both.

“Wait… what? Are these girls prostitutes?” one of my friends asked, which given the Matrix-like silhouettes posing on the splash screen was a pretty good question.
“Oh, no,” I replied.
“These are just regular girls.
See this girl? Her name’s Zoe.
She lives on the same street as me and Brittany.
She works at a coffee shop, and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t moonlight picking up tricks.”

Often times, a writer uses tricks and exaggerations to convey to a reader the spirit — if not the precise truth — of what occurred.
I just want to make clear that when I say that one of my friends was actually on the verge of tears, you understand that this is not such a trick.
She was horrified to the point of crying.
“How can Apple let people download an app like this?” she asked.
“And have you written about this?”

Read more about this nefarious device at PC Magazine.

And in the clueless ‘baddest bitch‘ category, Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard has told President Obama she faces more bigotry than he — all “in jest,” of course: Gillard said she tells Obama: ‘You think it’s tough being African-American? Try being me. Try being an atheist, childless, single woman as prime minister.'”
Julia, try being an African-American living in Mississippi.

Meanwhile, the clueless are still clueless as Iraq’s most-infamous “Curveball,” indeed helped George Jr. into the most-worse US disaster in its short, but active history.
Rafid Ahmed Alwan al-Janabi cooked up the Saddam WMD plot from thin air.
Via the UK’s Independent:

But Mr Janabi, speaking in a two-part series, Modern Spies, starting tomorrow on BBC2, says none of it was true.
When it is put to him “we went to war in Iraq on a lie. And that lie was your lie”, he simply replies: “Yes.”
US officials “sexed up” Mr Janabi’s drawings of mobile biological weapons labs to make them more presentable, admits Colonel Lawrence Wilkerson, General Powell’s former chief of staff.
“I brought the White House team in to do the graphics,” he says, adding how “intelligence was being worked to fit around the policy”.

No shit sherlock — and the BBC program also opens a US/Russo can of worms:

Another revelation in the series is the real reason why the FBI swooped on Russian spy Anna Chapman in 2010.
Top officials feared the glamorous Russian agent wanted to seduce one of US President Barack Obama’s inner circle.
Frank Figliuzzi, the FBI’s head of counterintelligence, reveals how she got “closer and closer to higher and higher ranking leadership… she got close enough to disturb us”.
The fear that Chapman would compromise a senior US official in a “honey trap” was a key reason for the arrest and deportation of the Russian spy ring of 10 people, of which she was a part, in 2010.
“We were becoming very concerned,” he says.
“They were getting close enough to a sitting US cabinet member that we thought we could no longer allow this to continue.”
Mr Figliuzzi refuses to name the individual who was being targeted.

Talk about being “sexed up.”

And the way-big clueless:

Last Friday at the liquor store I manage was a nightmare of the purest form of ugly.
Talk about delusional, clueless people — cattle, sheep, lemmings or whatever herd animals one would consider for these sad, pathetic people who piled into the store with giggles screaming for tickets.
One after another, all day long.

And, of course, all in California came up empty — surprise!
A dose of reality wouldn’t hurt these people, but greed is what it’s all about, though, not what they figured, even for the three winners: “After they win the jackpot, most of them self-destruct and they end up much more unhappy than they were before,” Dr. Tom Manheim, who offers financial therapy in Solana Beach, Calif. “It’s really kind of a sad state of our economy where we think that money, once again, is going to bring us happiness and it doesn’t.”
So funny one always forgets to laugh.

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