Slow Load

March 25, 2015

monalisa2Bright and bold this Wednesday afternoon on California’s north coast, with the wind giving the air a crisp, spring-snap here not too far from the Pacific.

Not-too-much of a snap earlier this morning — in fact, there was no loading to snap.
As I later learned, my Internet provider’s apparatus apparently encountered some kind of glitch, which way-quickly, way-slowed the Web.
So lead-footed the loading, I suspected the worse.

(Illustration found here).

Another fucking laptop problem.
Usually, no matter the situation, some worse-case scenario will emerge, and in this case, in my not-too-long-awake brain, fueled by a cup of high-octane coffee, quickly suspected an asshole virus. (Although a security scan a few minutes earlier produced no threats).
And in that brain, whole, ugly narratives of various unscrupulous computer problems and shit-beyond-my-understanding formed tight, depressing little circle-the-wagons episodes in my mind — somehow/somewhere some bug had infiltrated my digital organism and somehow forced all the shit down to just a spinning green circle in a little window-box above an all-white screen.
In the past, all my computer problems were internal, not external.
First, the pages took forever to load, then they stopped loading completely, but acted like they were loading, which is so aggravating, frustrating and inhumane — just being an asshole! After some dicking around, my conclusion was my Hewlett-Packard had took a shit, and a sad, confusing mystery of a shit. I just didn’t understand.

I thought maybe some fuck-up on the InterWebs themselves, but it’s never happened before. Besides, service from my Internet provider the past seven years has been outstanding — Renaissance Internet in Arcata — and there’s never been any kind of glitch/foul-up in that whole time.

Yet this afternoon, the guy at Renaissance returned my call (yes, of course, I’d called) and explained a problem involving an erratic telephone line caused the online situation. He did say finding the cure was a mystery for awhile, but service was back to normal.
If I could have reached through the telephone lines and given the guy a hug, I would have, as it was happiness that truly all’s well that end’s well, and it ain’t my laptop’s fault.

Now life is back to the routine, and normal — okay, crisis averted, back to another ‘Scrubs‘ binge on Netflix.

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