Another clear and cold morning here on California’s northern coast, and, another way-too-quick Monday.
Despite a stream of news-worthy bullshit over the weekend, especially in the highly-mis-valued “fiscal cliff” category, the American Psychiatric Association has concluded “sexual addiction” disorder does not include ‘a person who has sex frequently.’
Yipee, I qualify for treatment!
Shoot first, make love later.
(Illustration found here).
And WTF with the dumb-ass “fiscal cliff” bullshit — there’s heavier subjects out there for US peoples to knot themselves up over and call on Presidemt Obama to do something.
An online White House petition program, dubbed “We The People” has gushed up a X-Files-like pipeline to the president asking for all kinds of weird shit.
From yesterday’s Washington Post:
Several thousand Americans, for example, are calling on President Obama to nationalize the troubled Twinkies industry to prevent the loss of the snack cake’s “sweet creamy center.â€
Thousands more have signed petitions calling on the White House to replace the courts with a single Hall of Justice, remove Jerry Jones as owner of the Dallas Cowboys, give federal workers a holiday on Christmas Eve, allow members of the military to put their hands in their pockets and begin construction of a “Star Warsâ€-style Death Star by 2016.
And that’s just within the past month.
…
Stephen Bassett of Bethesda had high hopes when he petitioned the White House last year to disclose knowledge of human contact with extraterrestrial life and acknowledge government efforts to cover it up. His initiative attracted 12,000 signatures.
Bassett is still waiting for E.T. to phone his home…
Guns and more guns — one horror leads to another.
And if one has to be reminded of what’s happening in America’s heartland, just click to the Chicago Tribune homepage — a shitload of shootings all day, all the time.
This morning, for an example, two people were killed, a teenager wounded in a fracas on the West Side and an off-duty cop was shot multiple times during an attempted robbery.
Gun control, ha!
This past weekend, a parental terror near Pittsburgh, PA., when a dad accidentally shot his 7-year-old son in the chest.
Mr. Loughrey told police that he had emptied the pistol’s magazine but didn’t realize a bullet was still in the chamber when he got back into his pickup truck.
Mr. McGonigle said Mr. Loughrey placed the rifle behind the front seat and attempted to get into the pickup holding the handgun when it went off and the bullet struck the child in the passenger seat.
And this tale of near-tragedy of two boys, aged 7 and 11, who tried to rob a woman in a Portland, Ore., church parking lot. No one was injured, though, the older kid apparently does have some problems.
The kids were in possession of a loaded .22-caliber pistol:
The boys tried to carjack a 22-year-old woman who was in her family’s truck waiting for her parents in a church parking lot, Portland police said in a statement.
Ami Garrett, of southeast Portland, told officers that when the boys approached her, the younger boy told the older boy to “show her your piece.”
The woman said that when she refused to give them her vehicle, they demanded cash and her phone.
She said that as she drove away, she saw the 11-year-old boy pull a gun from his pocket.
…
The 11-year-old tried to escape his parents’ house but was quickly caught by officers and returned to his parents.
And a gun-related horror story from Central California.
From the LA Times:
A gunman killed his daughter, his mother and two of her brothers in a rampage at the Tule River Indian Reservation, authorities said Sunday.
Hector Celaya, 31, shot his relatives and one of his daughters before dying early Sunday morning, the Tulare County Sheriff’s Department said.
…
When describing Celaya in their initial alert about the crime, authorities noted his tattoos: a shark on his stomach and, on his right leg, the name of his 8-year-old daughter: “Alyssa.”
She was the daughter slain.
An odd, tragic tale from the UK — authorities have yet to identify a man found early one morning last September in West London near Heathrow Airport. The poor guy apparently was a stow-away and had fallen to earth when an airplane lowered its landing gear.
The apparent stowaway had no identification papers — just some currency from Angola, leading police to surmise that he was from that African nation, especially as inquiries showed that a plane from Angola was beginning its descent into Heathrow at about that time.
The macabre explanation made perfect sense to residents, who are familiar not only with the roar of the jets descending, but are also able to see the planes lower their landing gears as they pass overhead, said Catherine Lambert, who lives a few doors down from the spot where the man landed.
“You could see him, his body was contorted,” she said.
“It was a beautiful blue day, really sunny, but we had to keep the children inside.
I didn’t want the children to see, and to have to explain to them and put fear into them every time a plane goes over.”
…
“I felt, what was he running away from?
What made him think he could he could? And how will his family ever know?
He’s a lost soul now; his father and mother are probably waiting for him to make contact,” she said.
And a drive to go even more crazy (via Raw Story):
A monkey wearing a shearling coat and diapers was found wandering around an Ikea parking lot in Toronto, reported the CBC.
The monkey’s owner, who was shopping at the home and furniture store, put the monkey in a crate inside her car, but it managed to escape.
“It’s a smart monkey,†Toronto Police Sgt. Ed Dzingala told the CBC.
The woman who believes she was the first to spot the animal told the CBC, “It was the weirdest thing. I thought I was going insane.â€
‘Thought‘?
I gotta go face the day, with or without therapy.