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December 15, 2007

Although Decider George’s horrifying time as chief asshole still has another year to run, all evidence of the lies, the backstabbing and dirty-tricks will apparently end up as recycled bits of confetti: Federal spending on paper shredding has increased more than 600 percent since he took office.

  • In 2000, the feds spent $452.807 to make unpleasant truths go away: by 2006, the “Cheney Effect” had bumped that number up to $2.9 million. And halfway through 2007, the feds almost matched that number, with $2.7 million and counting. (12/14/07)

The Federal Funding Accountability and Transparency Act of 2006 allows citizens to view all federal-awarded contracts and one of those contracts was for paper shredding. The breakdown of the contract, though, does not reveal how much shredding was done by Vice President Dufus Dick Chaney, but one could bet the farm a shitload of paperwork has been destroyed.

According to records, Mid-Atlantic Shredding Services has made many trips to Dufus Dick’s compound at the Naval Observatory in DC. Dufus Dick has a lot of sordid secrets to confetti-nize.

And like CREEP (Committee to Re-elect the President — Dick Nixon’s 1972 organization) as the truth of Watergate began to boil over, a paper shredder was highly overworked to destroy anyone’s ability to “follow the money.”

In Dufus Dick’s case, it’s follow the lies.

And with a ‘hole lotta shreddin’ goin’ on, the trail will just blow in the wind.

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