Dummy McBrain

October 2, 2008

Vizzini Laugh

As great minds debate the questions of our age this evening, true genius lurks in the shadows, a hunched-over, arm-bowled Jackboot John McCain, betting all his shit on one fairly-suicidal move, a move so quick, so fast, even Sara Palin’s momma couldn’t catch the maneuver.

From William Goldman‘s so-interestingly touching, The Princess Bride:

  • “You are that smart?”
    “There are no words to contain all my wisdom.
    I am so cunning, crafty and clever, so filled with deceit, guile and chicanery, such a knave, so shrewd, cagey as well as calculating, as diabolical as I am vulpine, as tricky as I am untrustworthy…well, I told you there were not words invented yet to explain how great my brain is, but let me put it this way: the world is several million years old and several billion people have at one time or another trod upon it, but I, Vizzini the Sicilian, am, speaking with pure candor and modesty, the slickest, sleekest, sliest and wiliest fellow who has yet come down the pike.”
    “In that case,” said the man in black, “I challenge you to a battle of wits.”

And this morning dailykos nailed it.
Supposedly an old political joke, but can be adjusted to include just about anything.

  • While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old rancher, who’s hand was caught in the gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man.
    Eventually the topic got around to Palin and her bid.
    The old rancher said, “Well, ya know, Palin is a Post Turtle.'”
    Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a ‘post turtle’ was.
    The old rancher said, “When you’re driving down a country road you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that’s a ‘post turtle.”
    The old rancher saw the puzzled look on the doctor’s face so he continued to explain.
    “You know she didn’t get up there by herself, she doesn’t belong up there, and she doesn’t know what to do while she’s up there, and you just wonder what kind of dummy put her up there to begin with.”

Sarah started tonight’s debate: “Can I call you Joe?”
And then promptly displayed a frighteningly — just plain horrifyingly — obtuse-like brain.
This is now-a-natural-known-fact: So outrageous, so blitheringly obvious is Sarah’s towering intellect, so also-now Tina Fey will be forced to launch a personal industry — she will slowly become the Warren Buffet of Entertainment, the Michael Jordan of Show Business — riding the wave of apocalyptic humor into becoming the lone, last surviving multi-trillionaire.

Yet after the debate the flak seemed good for Sarah — the mainstream media, even PBS, are such assholes and just never address specifics, or the damn lying.
Inconceivable. (Maybe what I think that means is not what I think it is).

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