Weiner Dogs Don’t Hunt

June 7, 2011

Cyrus: Do you fly, Johnny?
Johnny: No.
Cyrus: You keep that in mind when you look at her…because if your dick jumps out of your pants…you jump out of this plane.
– Con Air

One has to wonder.

In a major and shameful surprise yesterday, Anthony Weiner’s pathetic press conference where he admitted all the bad shit said about his online weiner pics were all true, and that he’d lied about it, nearly took my experienced, I’ve-seen-all-kinds-of-bad-stuff breath away.
The shock was in Weiner — I’d always figured the guy was all right, a bit bombastic at times, but okay, but damn, turns out the fellow’s a lying asshole of a perv.

And on top of that, he was in an exotic marriage of only 11 months with Huma Abedin (with the Weiner at left), a longtime aide to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton — he Jewish, she Moslem — and the wedding was officiated by none-other than Bill Clinton.

(Illustration found here).

The Weiner disclosed in an off-the-wall press conference he’d had “relationships” with at least six women online and he’d been lying about the affair for nearly two weeks because: “I was embarrassed, I was humiliated,” he said. “I was trying to protect myself and my wife.”
Abedin was way-conspicuous by her absence from the presser.

Another asshole was also at the Weiner’s meeting with the news corps, Andrew Breitbart, who’d first started the Weiner scandal going with a pix on his bat-shit-crazy Biggovernment.com, took the mic first, proclaiming he was vindicated — as Weiner had denied the whole thing, Breitbart had come under fire the last week for being an asshole.
Andy’s still an asshole, but now a vindicated asshole.

In a spirit of purity, Breitbart also blubbered about having other even worse photos of Weiner: “I’m doing this to save his family…” and described the pix as “extremely graphic, and leaves nothing to the imagination.”
“I would like an apology from him… This was his political strategy — to accuse me of hacking.
“I’m trying to do the decent thing here and not release the photo.”

Do the decent thing?

We’re talking about some deep shit, here, Andy, so don’t start.

In a time when the US and the world is going through some terrible and ugly shit, America’s representatives in DC are just having a good-ole-time, playing finger games with each other.
A weiner is a weiner unless it’s a dog.

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